(An old picture, but appropriately).
2 years ago.
I know you’ll never see this, but I am so grateful that through everything that’s happened, you’ve always been here.
We’ve definitely had our downs. Our low lows.
But I think that’s one of the things that makes us so close now. What could break apart two friends like us? We dated and broke up more than once, but we’re still here for each other. My family and friends all love you just like your family loves me. When I dated an abusive, obsessing guy, you saw and knew immediately it was unhealthy. You kept asking me to come over so I could have time away from him, and when he reacted badly you told your mom. I know I was upset about that at first, but now I realize how amazing that was of you. Because she told my mom, and my mom talked to him about it. He didn’t change, so we broke up. And that entire time, one of the most emotionally rough of my life, you were right here. I came over every day for such a long time. We would watch Netflix and play games with Cassie and Char and anything else to keep my mind off the bad things. If you knew I was with him you would text me to make sure I was okay. You worried about me, and that meant more than you’ll ever know.
Things were so different when we first met. I was more awkward than I am now. It was before I knew anything about Asking Alexandria or video games or how close a family like yours can be but you still wanted me. It was also before you got tall, when your medicine made you so different and when you were more afraid. I was your first girlfriend and first kiss. I remember how nervous you were.. I could go on about that one for hours, but I’ll stop. Just know it was precious.
And even with how much everything has changed, you are still the best friend I have.
That important fact hasn’t changed. Days like we spend together lately, these are great. Playing basketball after it’s dark outside. Surprising you when I made the first few shots and then pouting when you eventually won. Getting ice cream and teasing me that I couldn’t have any before offering it.
Going home with you in between classes to let your dogs out and just get away from school.
Watching scary movies and you laughing at them so you don’t seem scared even when I’m already curled up under a blanket for security.
Things like laying on your bed (separately, this isn’t sexual or romantic at all) with you and Cassie and Charlie while Char plays video games and Cassie and I talk about girl things and you just snuggle up in a warm blanket and we all feel so close.
Helping Cass with her karate. Sometimes I forget how strong and agile you really are.
Wrestling. Although that hasn’t happened for a while. Probably for a reason. Ha.
Anyway, I guess all of this rambling comes down to
Thanks for being here for me Jac. And although we aren’t romantic together anymore, I hope you’re always in my life. You’ve been home for me for the past two years and I know I’ll always feel comfortable with you. That means the world.